So, I went and saw my therapist today.  I was in a great mood, and looking quite cute if i do say so my self.  Well, i got in there, and before i knew it, i was crying.  I wasn’t really even sure why, i just was.  I have been wrestling with coming out, and attempting to go full time.  The thought of coming out to my parents is devastating, as I am very close to both of them, and exceptionally so my father.  They are semi-conservative Catholics, and i am afraid they would disown me.  I thought i was close to telling my mom, as i think she’d take it better, but i just constantly wrestle with it.  Also, i live with some of my wife’s family, and i know it will be weird for them.  Not that i live my life to appease others, it’s just hard, and one of my wife’s sisters seem to have a serious issue with gay people, so i KNOW my situation would be really tough.

Anyway, I cried and cried… and realized it’s sorta my way of letting go of my male side.  Letting my female side grow and flourish, and the way to do that, is to push aside my maleness, which is exactly what i did to my female side for years.  My therapist gave me a couple of assignments to tackle before i see her again in April.

1) I have to write down what i think of my female side, who she is, what she likes, and what she see as her future.

2) Go, on my own, to a store and buy one article of clothing for me.  A little daunting, but i think i can handle it.

ANyway, I will post the results of both as I complete them.



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