Feeling Girly

OK, I’m back, sorry about the lag of posts, with being sick and all, i wasn’t very inspired to sit down and think about this stuff.  Although being sick allowed me to dwell on some things and get my thoughts as straight as they’re gonna be.  Lately, even though I have been miserably sick, i have felt more girly!  What I mean, is not feminine, per say, but when i look in the mirror i finally am starting to see a woman!  Not the man, not Matthew, but truly Melanie!  While this makes me quite happy, it makes me nervous, and stressed out.  Why you ask?  Well, i’ll tell you.

You see, getting closer to that line, means coming out (finally) to people i live with, and going through the ID changes, etc.  While that is exciting, obviously it’s nerve wracking.  I guess the biggest part of the journey, besides the surgeries, etc, is going full time, and changing all that info.  HUGE stop really.  I think after that, there’s no going back.  Not that i have doubts, but, well, as i said, it’s a HUGE step, that should not be taken if I (or anyone in my situation ) have any doubts.  \

It makes me smile now to look in the mirror… Even with the rain, such-making my hair frizz out like crazy!  It’s just a good feeling for my soul that I actually see Melanie (no make up and all).  I suppose a good thing is, i don’t wear alot of makeup to begin with (the wife wanted to make sure i didn’t look like a clown) 😛

What an exciting time!  Well, time to hit my inhaler, and play some Champions online 🙂

Listening to-Iron Maiden Brave New World

ps-If anyone who reads this has any ideas for some music for me I’d love to hear from them.  I’m always on the look out for something new.  Obviously i have posted things i have been listening to, but some of what i have on my Itunes- Flyleaf, Irom Maiden, Judas Priest, SHinedown, RATM, Queensryche, Styx, Lady Gaga, Kansas, Bulletboys, Days of the New, BxF… So thoughts?  They don’t have to fit into any of those genres, but no country please.


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