Losing weight/coming out/going full time

I feel in my mind and in my heart, I am nearly ready to come out to my family, and what follows is going full time. I look in the mirror and see a woman, my male side is all but gone. The biggest thing, and i do mean biggest, thing that is holding me back, is my weight. I guess I would feel more feminine if i was a little smaller, or at least my belly was a bit less pronounced. I feel, if i could lose 50 pounds, that would be an awesome start, and I’d be good to go. I realize not all women have to be skinny, but for my self image it would help. Overall I feel i am ready, I get ma’amed a lot even when i am not presenting, so i think that’s a good thing.

As far as coming out goes… I live with 3 other people besides my wife (her family), so i kinda figure they may be getting a clue (being my boobs are rarely hid). Meaning of course I don’t bind them or anything. Knowing how pretty close-minded they are I know it’s not gonna be fun, and I am positive they will treat me VERY differently once I do tell them. I really want to tell them, as i feel that will remove a big road block on this road to fully transitioning. I was told by a VERY intelligent ( and fully transitioned) friend, that really, you only need to tell the people that it will effect. In other words, family i have in southern cali, on the east coast, etc will never really need to know. Which is fine by me, the fewer people I HAVE to tell the better. I am not looking forward to explaining myself to dozens of people. Like my friend said, only those who will see me (on a reasonable basis) need know. And that sounds like sound advice to me 😛

I guess I am hitting all the subjects throughout the post, but i must say, i actually am looking forward to going full time. I wish i had the money to do some FFS, BUT maybe someday… the GRS is THEE most important part, and my focus at this point. It used to make me nuts thinking about it, saying in my head- “You look like a guy in a dress… you’ll never pass.” BUT, i have had a lot of people tell me i should do fine, and the key to me, is for someone to look at me, and never think..”Is that a guy?” I know that would kill me, but i also know life will NOT be easy, and things will be rough on all aspects of my life. At my age, and all the things I have done in my life, I think I can handle it.

Anyway, I should grab a shower, finish cleaning and get ready for my eye appointment. (finally going to get feminine glasses) YAY!

Listening to: Rage Against the Machine-Renegades

GAWD! I need some new music on this computer LMAO

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