Alone in a crowded room

So, as many of my friends here know (as i posted last week, or whenever it was), I was having issues. Been depressed, sad, lost… Felt this way until probably friday or saturday (i think). Well, I seemed to be in better spirits over the weekend and even woke up in a pretty descent mood today. As the day grinds on, I get that familiar sinking feeling I had last week, and after talking to my fully transitioned (mtf) friend this morning, I kind of have a grasp on what’s going on. Although I haven’t been to a lot of TG events in the area yet, the few I have been to just felt weird. Not that I don’t fit in, i guess, but it’s more like the local TG group here is about 50% CDs. So, I know they are all very sweet, kind people.. but a pretty small percentage (i assume) do not fully grasp what I am going through, and that the “endgame” is GRS.

So, the event i went to I ended up in the kitchen (I posted about this before), with mostly all GGs. I guess I feel I can relate to them better. Anyway, I am going to go see my shrink (out of my regular schedule) because I think I need to get this out, and get some solid feedback from her. I know, and understand we all go through this, but it’s not easy to not have someone to talk to about it.



1 Comment

  1. You’re not alone. I feel weird at every event I attend. Like I really don’t fit in….and I don’t…but I still attend because there is some comfort in being with those who are even remotely like me.

    As a non-transitioning TS, you would have to admit that I have reason to feel weird when with those who are CD’s and those who are transitioning. None of them understand me.

    Calie xxx

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