Some Art-some old and some new

First up is Cassandra Solhammer- She was my second or third toon in world of warcraft (Human Paladin). If you happen to have read the first part of my WoW story, you will know who she is. This picture is basically a preview of what’s to come for her AFTER that story. I will get into that later.

Second is Flux (standing) and Blitz (crouching). They are two members of the superhero team Project: G.A.T.S. (again, if you read my blog on a regular basis, you know what that is. The reason for the composition is this is to be a layout for a comic cover. Sequential covers featuring two members of various teams.

Third-Team Alpha of Project: G.A.T.S. Names labeled. Alpha-Flight, super strong; Blockade-Resilience, strong, can make him self virtually immovable.; Bane-Super genius, inventor, martial artist; Rising Sun-Flight, fire powers; and Psyon- Telekinesis, psychokinesis, and telepathy. Side note (flux from the above pic is a team leader as well, and Flux and Alpha are brother and sister.

Lastly-This is Full Force-brother to another hero not involved with GATS, and a tourtured soul. Was a good guy, then went bad, and became a minion of the most evil person in my comic universe Nightmare. Then his brother saves him, but not before Nightmare uses his technology to make Full Force twice as powerful as before, elevating him to a whole new level of power. Then, after a run in with his brother and the team HE belongs to, FF becomes a sort of renegade, or vigilante, only out for himself.

As always, thanks for taking a look.



A Clarification

My post a little while back about friends online, etc..wasn’t meant to alienate, or piss anyone off. It’s just sorta my view on “friends” online. I mean someone with dozens, or even hundreds of “friends” on facebook?? no way they actually KNOW all those people, or have even met them. Sure it’s easy to call someone a friend because they comment on a status, or like the same things as you, but seriously… can you call on them in the cse of an emergency?

So, basically, if i pissed anyone off, or upset them… I apologize.


World of warcraft Story-Part 1

OK, this is what I have been working on as of late.

Part 1

The roar of the engines and the constant clamor of engineers banging and hollering filled Amaranthia’s ears as she looked out over the desolate terrain of Icecrown. Her alien eyes longed to see the Exodar again, to see the rolling hills of Azuremyst Isle, anything but this. She shifted on her hooves, as she did so the heavy plates of her armor clanked together. Daenei are not rare within the ranks of the paladins, but she still felt uncomforable, like she was being watched by her fellow paladins; humans, and dwarves had become so familiar to her, yet unfamiliar, for some reason. She became lost in the thoughts of her home, training, anything but the here and now. She sensed someone very close to her, almost shoulder to shoulder with her.

“There you are.” She said with a smile.
“Come now Amara, you didn’t think I’d liet you have all the fun, did you?”

Cassandra Solhammer, a human, a fellow paladin went through all of her training along side the introspective ‘alien’. They had become dear friends during the last five years. Cassy carried a near legendary warhammer named after her great grand father Andricious Solhammer. The much shorter Cassandra hefted the holy mace onto her shoulder and grinned at her best friend.

“Are you ready? The Lich King awaits his doom in his frozen home.” Cassandra always confident, at least on the outside.

Amaranthia, who shifted her grip on the axe she won by killing a powerful minion of the Lich King, priests and paladins of the highest ranks cleansed the blade, but still it glowed with a almost evil red glow paused for a long moment, “Indeed,” She responded, “Or our doom.” She added.

Cassandra laughed and clasped her gauntleted hand on Amaranthia’s shoulder. Amaranthia did not have the lineage of her friend, as a matter of fact her family contains a long line of shaman, and her choice to become a paladin did not come without much disappointment.

“We will assist Lord Tirion with this mission and then retire to Stormwind and work as guards to the cathedral.” Cassandra assured her friend they would make it out of this alive.

Amaranthia and Cassandra suddenly fell silent as the Skybreaker started it’s descent towards Crisader Point. Master Stormbearer, a lieutenant of Tirion Fordring-master of the Knights of the Silver Hand, stepped up to the edge of the disembarking area.

“Alright!” Struggling to be heard over he roar of the engines, he had to yell. “we have no time to waste, hit the ground running, and smite any undead as fast as you can!”

Cassandra slid her helm down over her golden locks and turned towards Amaranthia and slapped the top of it to make sure it was solidly in place. As Amaranthia donned her helmet, she could almost see Cassy’s smile through the plate of her faceguard. As she turned her gaze back to the fast approaching, snow-covered ground she is roughly nudged on her other hip! She looked down to see Drathean Blackmail, a very anxious dwarf paladin stamping, and chuckling. He began a rhythmic banging of his axe against his shield. Moments before the ‘new’ paladins lept from their conveyance, as if on the cue, they all muttered a prayer to the light to empower them in the eminent battle. Filled with holy energies and as if on cue they chanted “For the Light! For Azeroth!”

Amaranthia’s hooves crunched down on the snow-covered rise of the Crusaders Point, as she turned to run down the path into Scourgeholm she could see Cassy running near the front of the group and always was worried about her overzealous friend. At the base of the hill was groups of scourge-reincarnated fallen warriors, scourge mages and the most terrifying of all, giant undead bug-like creatures! Cassy and several other paladins gathered around Drathean, as he consecrated the ground under his feet. The undead monstrosities labored to stand and fight them. Amara looked past them to see several of the ‘bugs’ bearing down on the group, before she could warn them two scourge emerged from the ground under her hooves!

She lost her balance and landed in the snow with a thud, and a groan. She rose her axe to block one swing while she blasted the other with a surge of pure holy light. As the offensive moved forward Amara continued to struggle as yet another scourge joined the fray!

She quickly began to chant a prayer, but was interrupted by a sharp blow to the side of her helm! The world went dark….

Very dark.

“They left you for dead…”

“Come to me…”

“I will take care of you my child…”

“Come to me…now!”

Suddenly, Amaranthia’s eyes fluttered opened, and she sat up! Pulling her helm off, she quickly scanned the area. Scourge shattered and decimated lie all around the area. She slowly makes it to her hooves and picks up her axe, ‘ready’ to defend herself. Slowly she begins to walk away from Crusader Point, and toward Icecrown Citadel! On guard, as she passes some scourge guards who turn to look at her with dark, hollow eyes. She passes without incident, and enters the citadel.

Her eyes struggle to see in the dark and cold mist, when suddenly a large form appears before her! A Tauren! A member of the horde? Here? She thinks to herself. The giant minotaur-like creature observes her for a few moments, them spins in her dark plate armor, carved with skills and icons of the Lich King. He glances over his shoulder, he snorts and motions for her to follow him. They enter a antechamber, dark and cold, colder than anyplace on Northrend. What could this creature have in store for me?

More to come …soon.

A bit of a rant

recently there has been a real uproar in the world of warcraft community over something maker Blizzard-Activsion calls RealID. What it comes down to is a sort of facebook like community for Blizzard game players. I won’t get into the details of the whole thing, but here’s a link to a very well written blog post of a gaming site to give you some background.

Some, rather most people were understand of the TG persons view on this, some were not… you can read these there as well but here are some of the responses I made;

i don’t usually comment on blogs here and very rarely post on the message boards, but this post really caught my eye. Reason? I AM a transgendered woman who games a lot, and actually i belong to a lbgt guild in wow, so to them i don’t fear anything. BUT, I would prefer to keep my real identity to myself. My friends online (in wow and otherwise) know me as my female identity (eventually I will tell them, but honestly NO tg person should ever be forced to tell anyone, I should have the right to tell who I want, when i want…heck my folks don’t even know yet.

As for it taking a long time to fully transition, indeed it is hard for some of us, as the average price in the states is around 20k. Isurance does not cover it, as it is not seen as a nessasary surgey.

One last thing, if you are my friend (on line) and I don’t tell you, I am NOT lieing to you, as many of us take many years (in my case decades) to even come to grips with it myself. Be mad all you want, but I don’t have to tell anyone, and should never be forced. People that think TG people are liers have NO idea what it’s like to be TG, and face the possibily of violence, ridecule, or something else.

Trojan99 very well said. Xersues-NOONE has the “right” to know my past..period. I have Tg friends who are post-op and are trying to forget their life previously. For all intense purposes she appears to be a GG (Genetic Girl), and she wants people to treat her as such. I plan to go the same rout after my surgery… noone has the right to know anything i don’t want them to know. Don’t tell me everyone you know, knows every detail of your life. I realize being TG is a bit of a bigger secret/detail than say you used to wet the bed til you were 10. (Not insulting you, just making a embarassing thing up)… a lot of TG people “move on” and they should not be scrutinized for their past.

Noone i know at the moment will ever know i was a “he” (unless it’s family-including my wife), Why does anyone NEED to know. If everyone you meet assumes you are a GG, then so be it, noone need be any wiser.

I am in the process of changing my name leagally (next week i go to the court house), and I have the papers to change my gender marker on my DL. Blizz requires MORE paperwork than the dmv or my bank to prove who i am and who i am becoming. I can’t believe you’d be able to lie on your realid, but i suppose anything is possible.

Here is a side note for knowledge for those that don’t know what we have to go through. When I do go to change my name, not only is is 400+ dollars (closer to 6 or 7 after all the fees, and all the changes to all the docs), but i also have to put an announcement in a local paper once a week for FOUR weeks!! at MY expense. If I have to go through all that, a court hearing, a LONG day at the dmv, etc etc… why should I ever have to tell anyone anything after the fact?!

I have known a few people on wow for nearly as long as the game came out (started playing the january after it came out and met my friend by summer), this person does not know about my past, only knows who i am to become. And that’s the way it will stay.

This is my last post on the subject, but again… as I have stated numerous times… NOONE “deserves” the right to know about my past, If i want to tell them, I will… but in no way should anyone be “privledged” to know about it.

Basically, it is a invasion of privacy in many people’s views… Blizzard always says they will NEVER give out our personl info..BUT the RealID thing is JUST THAT!

Sorry I had to get that out.


My Turn

I have been patiently waiting in line
Watching everyone passing me by
And I can’t seem to figure out
When’s it going to be my turn?

I’m sick and tired of paying my dues
Played the game ’til the end, and I lose
So can somebody tell me
When’s it going to be my turn?
When’s it going to be my turn?

Yesterday, I’ve learned from
Tomorrow is uncertain
So why can’t I just make my turn today?

I’ve always followed and played by the rules
But the prize goes to those who aren’t due
Still nobody can answer me
When’s it going to be my turn?
When’s it going to be my turn?

Yesterday, I’ve learned from
Tomorrow is uncertain
So why can’t I just make my turn today?

‘Cause yesterday, I’ve burned from
Tomorrow is uncertain
So why can’t I just make my turn today?

When’s it going to be my turn? (x6)

Whoa… When’s it going to be my turn? (x2)

Yesterday, I’ve learned from
Tomorrow is uncertain
So why can’t I just make my turn today?

‘Cause yesterday, I’ve burned from
Tomorrow is uncertain
So why can’t I just make my turn today?

When’s it going to be my turn?

My Turn by Hoobastank

I love this song! Seems kind of like me, I feel like I want to push head long into my transition, but things hold me back..mainly money LOL which i knew would be the case. I got a surprise gift from my father which will go a LONG way to helping with my name/gender marker change fees. Life is passing me by, and I need to jump into the flow…finally.

Melanie Dawn

Listening to- Mel’s Mad mix Vol. 2 (still)

PS-Updated the webcomic recently, and a new pic today!

I have no friends, only phatoms playing at my feet

This is not a winey post or anything, but i wanted to say a few things that have been on my mind lately.

My wife is my absolute best friend! She is my number one supporter, and my go to. She is my all, and my everything. She is all I ever will need. She makes me complete. Love you so very much baby (she does read this on occasion now).

Now, about the title, Other than my wife i feel i have no real friends. I have mentioned (i think) a guy i went to school with who is really cool, and very supportive of me, as is his wife. BUT, i rarely seem them, probably my fault. Anyway, other than that, I have a few acquaintances, wait, who am i kidding, maybe 1 or 2 actually. nothing against my readers (loyal readers), but stuff on the net is vapor. I know people call each other friends, etc on face book, and crap like that, but really? I mean..really? If you are is desperate times, can you call those dozens of friends and ask for a loan, or a place to stay? Some people may say yes, but do you REALLY think they WANT to? People have lives to live, and no matter how kind they seem, no one wants to be put out of their comfort zone.

I got to thinking, after reading a friends (there’s that word again) blog, when she talked about all her friends she missed from her blog while she hasn’t been able to post (working way too much). While i definitely appreciate everyone who visits my blog, and leaves comments, criticisms, and concerns…BUT… if I had to, could I really call on anyone to assist me in the time of a crisis?

People think they know you because you tweet, or face book each other, but honestly no one really knows anyone 100%. Not even people you know from down the street or from work. It’s a rare person indeed that gives everyone 100% of themselves. I know one such person… my wife. She is so honest, and true to who she is.. and she doesn’t give a damn what other people think of her. i WISH i could be like that, but alas i cannot. As a matter of fact she has come out for me at her work to a few people..scares the hell out of me, but she says people seem ok with it. Time will tell.

I know I sound bitter, or rude, or mean, or uncaring..but that simply isn’t what I am going for. I tend to dwell on things.. A LOT! (my phatoms) my past, my present, my future.. all things that tend to run through my mind at any given time of the day. I sometimes dwell on my past, all the terrible things i have done to people, to my parents… to people i care about. I think i am becoming a better person, but maybe i am lieing to myself. Maybe i am the same person.. just better at lieing to myself about these “positive” changes.

Melanie Dawn

Listening to Mel’s mad mix Vol.2 (Shinedown, Hoobastank, Zebrahead, Distrubed, Flyleaf, Krokuk, Skillet, etc)

Lack of updates

I just wanted to drop a quick line to my readers, and say i am sorry for the lack of updates lately, i meant to say something sooner. I have set aside my comic and regular posting to work on my entry for the Blizzard writing contest, BUT i think i have fallen too far behind and may not get it done, soooo… maybe i will post it here in chapters when it is done. Anyway, Just wanted to let y’all know, and I promise i will get something up here soon.