Not sure how long this will be as I am typing it on my phone.  So ya, I went to a local tg group halloween party this past weekend, and all it really did was reinforce the feeling that I will not ever fit in anywhere.  I think my wife and I will havd to be our own support group from now on. 

I doubt I will evee fit in anywhere,  I suppose I just feel at least legally I am Melanie, and I will have that much when I die.  I seriously doubt I will ever be able to afford my surgery, but at least my tombstone will have the right name. 

I know I sound whiney, or whatever, but I had to vent a bit.  It’s just something I have been thinking about for some time, and after this weekend it really hit home.  I guess that’s all.


I guess you could say my transition is over, as there will be no further steps forward,



  1. Dislike 😦

  2. And oh yeah! Get to me finally go to a party with you and I have fun and now we will never go again? That’s just mean! 😦 Double dislike!

    • ya sorry baby.. just how i was feeling today…

  3. “Imma ’bout to slap a bitch” SNAP OUT OF IT.
    You can not possibly base the rest of your life on one event.

    Are you kidding me??? After all the things you’ve accomplished, you’re going to dive into a downward spiral because of this?

    You have a great wife, and are heading together into a great life, the only place you need to “fit in” to is your own soul, and up till now, I thought you were doing that rather well. Yes, you sound whiney, and I figure you’ll snap out of it in a day or two, if you haven’t already. So forgive my rant and my threatening to slap you, and I’ll forgive your brief moment of giving up on yourself.

    *happily skips out of the room*

    • Ya ya, i’m kinda over it. My wife, as always, snapped me out of it. I have felt out of place for awhile, but I need to push myself back out there.

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