So, it’s been awhile…

Here I am, sitting here in my chair, just watched “Spies Like Us”, and thinking about my life.  As I feel like I still am unsure if my folks truly accept me.  If I don’t call them, I never talk to them.  Now, I get that it’s really difficult to understand, and comprehend, but I wonder if they will even be able to look at me in the face.  I sent them a book, I told them if they have any questions I will do everything in my power to answer as best and truthfully as possible. 

I fully accept who and what I am, hell, except for my weight, i’m pretty happy with” me”.  I am, however, going to try and get a consultation with a bariatric sugeon this week.  For some reason I just don’t give a shit what people think of me, except for my parents. 

I lost momentum on my “30 characters in 30 days” challenge, but I need to step it up and see if I can knock the rest out before the end of the week.

Anyway, gotta run and pick up Bev from work.

Melanie

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Another rant………. of sorts.

Be prepared, this may be slightly ranty or whiney, but it really isn’t meant to be.

Ok, I have had a few things on my mind for the last week or so, as I sit here listening to my deadbeat bigot nephew talk about buying alcohol and cigarettes (classy guy as he has a kid on the way, and he’s on welfare), and thinking about LBGT rights. I was watching a little of the election returns, and saw Rand Paul (or whatever his name is) is the projected winner in his state. This TERRIFIES me! If more of these FAR right, extreme politicians get into the government, we (LBGT people) could be in a lot of trouble. What little rights we DO have will be gone inside 6 months. The fight for gay marriage will be all but over. I am not a nihilist, but i AM a realist. This country is leaning frighteningly to the far right. Most liberals should be terrified by the apparent direction things are going, what rights any of us have that could be considered “liberal” will be under attack… can you say pro choice? Knowing my nephew hates me (he’s for prop 8) and totally unapologetic, makes me sick when he’s around, and fear for our future. It’s funny that pundits on tv say the younger generation is less “up in arms about gay rights”, and have a “i don’t care, whatever” attitude is crap. Obviously, my nephew and his pregnant girlfriend are both anit-gay rights and they are considerable younger than myself. The younger people seems to hate as much as the older generation. Sad… very sad.

Ok enough of that, now onto something positive. This half of my post should be called “where’s Matthew?”

More and more when i look in the mirror, I don’t see him. Not that I’m complaining, but it’s funny… I never thought I’d ever see him completely gone. I will stand and look in the mirror, and TRY to find him. He’s just not there. All I see is Melanie. And ya know what? She’s pretty cute 😛 (wife says I have to be more positive about me). I just FEEL more Melanie everyday I look in the mirror and not see Matthew. It’s a pretty cool feeling, and it makes me grin when all I see is Melanie. I LOVE love LOVE getting dressed in the morning. I wear a skirt a lot, i love my skirt. I love feeling girly, and my skirt does that. I haven’t gotten a dress yet, i want to lose some more weight, but I can’t WAIT to get one! Anyway, I wanted to be positive after all the negative.

Melanie Dawn

ps on a side note, I am involved in fun little challenge called 30 character in 30 days that runs this entire month. Here’s a link to my page, please feel free to stop by and drop me a comment (good or bad).
Like below
http://www.30characters.com/author/mshamanm/